Ironman Wisconsin - My race results and analysis.

The Stats:

Division - M25-29
Overall Place - 284
Division Place - 38/156
Total Time - 11:12:37
Swim Time - 01:12:00, Swim Overall Place - 704
Bike Time - 06:13:30, Bike Overall Place - 769
Run Time - 03:35:14, Run Overall Place - 107

Stats taken from my IMMOO results at TriResults.com


Swim Analysis: I was very pleased when I got out of the water and saw that I swam in the 1:12 range. I had anticipated a time between 1:10 and 1:15, but my intuition had me closer to 1:15 than to 1:10. The frustrating part about the swim is that it took a lot time during the swim before I felt like I was actually swimming and making progress. The major issue was sighting efficiently. I ended up using small breast strokes in order to sight, because either I was swimming zig-zags or those around me were - or we all were to start.

This can be improved upon by doing more open water swims during the summer, but it will help to just become an overall better swimmer too. This is the first year in my entire life that I have swam the entire year (not a lot a couple months, but still swam some). That consistency for 2008 will be essential again. I would love to be a sub 1:05 swimmer, since Nikki swam 1:05 at her first Ironman.... maybe she'll motivate me to actually swim some workouts with her this year?

I will also seek swim technique analysis.

Bike Analysis: I wrote a lot of information prior to the race about my race simulation rides. (Tags and links to articles) The interesting thing about my expectations for Ironman Wisconsin and those rides are that the two didn't quite run parallel. What do I mean by that? Well - During the simulation rides my common riding time for riding 36.2 miles was between 2:01 and 2:15. If you take that distance and time and derive an estimated Ironman bike split it would be around 6:15 to 6:30.

My expectation going into Wisconsin was that I could ride at or just under 6:00. Why did I think that? Because I wanted to be able to ride 6 hours. That expectation was based upon a hope and dream, not on the reality of my current riding fitness.

There are a couple things that saved my bike leg from completely blowing me up:

1. I understood that riding too hard would blow me up and I knew what type of effort I could comfortably maintain for 112 miles. While I didn't get a logical bike split expectation from the race simulation rides, they did teach me about my effort levels. Luckily I had spent a lot of time mentally preparing for the race and was able to ride at my proper effort levels and didn't chase the 6 hour idea... luckily.

2. A period of contemplating reality and pain. I've been asked before, "What do you think about all that time." During the bike, I had a long period of time (around an hour) where I thought about two people, John Reier and my aunt Connie. Both of those individuals have meant a lot to me and both are currently dealing with cancer. I spent a lot of time talking to John and it allowed me to quit feeling sorry for myself and the bloating I couldn't get rid of. I thought a lot about how it was difficult for John to eat after his chemo treatments. It made me realize the joy that I was experiencing by completing an Ironman. Praise God for the day he granted me!

3. Ale8 and a Honey Bun. The bloating that I had and all the peeing I needed to do made it very difficult to take in Gatorade or eGel's. (I wasn't trying both at the same time!) Even taking all the salt tablets didn't help. What did help was the honey bun in my special needs bag and the bike bottle I had that contained Ale8. If it wasn't for the approx 700kcals I took in by eating and drinking those two items, I would have headed directly for bonksville. The Ale8 also calmed my stomach down quite a bit (it might have been the ginger?) and I was able to resume taking in my gels.

So coming in 13 minutes slower on the bike was a little bit of a bummer, but I knew I had ridden smart (besides the two times up Devil's Hill) which meant I was ready to run.

Run Analysis: I made it through the transition pretty quick and tried to get into a "quick feet" running pattern right away. My legs actually felt sluggish to begin, but in the first mile I felt like I passed a hundred people. It also was nice to hear some of the encouragement from the spectators:

"Gary, you've got a nice cadence!" "Gary, you're making it look easy" "Gary, your pace is excellent!"

I didn't necessarily feel that way, but it was nice to get that feedback. When I hit the first aid station I contemplated to run through it and not walk through. But true to my training strategy since last November, I hit the split button on my watch and walked through the aid station grabbing water and gatorade. At 20 seconds, I took off again. "Quick feet, light feet," I kept telling myself.

I used this pattern for the entire marathon, but around mile 16 I decided to walk for 30 seconds instead of 20. That may seem like a "break down," but I was happy to be increasing the walk by 10 seconds and not several minutes or miles!

There were a few things during the run that motivated me and helped me push on: I was passing lots of other runners, I saw all the others with me several times and got encouragement (Eric, Beth, Jeff and Nikki), I ran with a guy (Jonathan Cross) that I met on the run and he was encouraging and during the last four miles I thought I was on pace to go under 3:30.

It turns out that I wasn't on pace for a sub 3:30, but did run a 3:35. That was the 107th best run of the day. That made me happy.

Final Analysis: The one thing that makes me happy about the Ironman Wisconsin race is that I had a race plan and executed it almost to perfection. The times are a little bit off (re:bike analysis) but that was due to improper expectations not poor execution. As a first Ironman attempt, I'm not sure I could have been happier with that level of committment to a goal. I beleive all the years of reading others' race reports talking about going too hard too early has really driven home the message that execution is a major factor in Ironman events.

Feeling very happy about the experience and what I was able to accomplish I have to admit that I was a little down yesterday. Looking at a time of 11:12 and then looking at where the front of pack guys race, I realized that it is going to take a lot to make it up there. "How can I get my bike that much faster?" I have asked myself that question several times the past few days.

It could have been that I turned 29 years old yesterday, which made me think about the "what next" question a lot, but I walked around the early part of my birthday thinking that maybe Ironman should become a thing of my past. Even though I enjoyed the event, I thought maybe I need to move on. Return to "the checklist". The list that says I have to accomplish "x,y,z" in order to feel successful and happy. A list that would be difficult to fulfill if even more of my time was dedicated to "going faster."

Sitting at my computer I turned on - The Samples. It kind of brought me back to a place in my life where I once lived. A place where "conquering the world" wasn't so high on my list. A time where the romance of spending a year learning to surf or running away with a loved one seemed pretty important.

Then I came full circle. Ironman is about a lifestyle I want to embrace. I want to be active, I want to enjoy the outdoors. I want to share the joy of movement. So what if I drive a wrecked '95 Saturn SL2.... I may or may not "conquer" Ironman, but I'm going to embrace it! So I'm signing up for IMMOO '08, maybe another full-distance race too if I can find one in May or June.

[Sidenote: Interesting that Nikki gave me the book Stumbling on Happiness for my birthday!]

Ironman Wisconsin - The Experience

It is now a few days post Ironman Wisconsin and it is time to sit down and write my race thoughts down. I am going to break the race into a few different reports and reviews in order to keep them shorter and topic centered. The reviews I am going to write for now are:

1. Ironman Wisconsin - The Experience
2. Ironman Wisconsin - My race results and analysis
3. Ironman - What Next? (2008 thoughts on training and racing)

Links will be provided once the reports are complete.

Ironman Wisconsin - The Experience

Thursday - 9/6/07
Nikki and I finished our early morning training sessions and jumped into the car to drive to Wisconsin. The trip was pretty uneventful other than the terrible rains that forced us to drive 35 mph for way too long.

After getting into Madison, we went straight to our hotel to see Jeff, Eric and Beth who drove up on Wednesday. Soon after arriving, Eric looked at me with a concerned look and said, "Let's take a walk." Right away I thought that my bike had been destroyed because we all transported our bikes in a U-Haul that they pulled. The initial anxiety was an over reaction to what actually happened. The short story is that Nikki's bike wasn't secured well enough and her cassette ended up scratching my rims all up and destroying my tire. The solution was that I used Beth's wheels that she normally rides because she was going to use a set of race wheels anyway. Problem solved.

Friday - 9/7/07
We woke up early enough to make our way down to the Gatorade swim. The water was really choppy and made me a little nervous. Even though I had improved my swimming a lot over the last year, it was still my first Ironman experience and the idea of 2,300 athletes swimming together made me nervous. The choppy water didn't help.

The rest of the morning was spent at the convention center getting massages (I didn't but the others did), buying items at the store and getting my registration packet. One major lesson I learned was to not let your USAT membership expire. My number expired on 8/31 so I had to stand in line forever while Nikki by-passed at least 45 minutes of standing in line.

Upon returning to the hotel Eric spent time changing out wheels and cassettes for us. Thank goodness for his bike mechanic knowledge. I should learn a few more of the basics too. We went on a little ride from our hotel that afternoon to make sure the bikes worked properly. They did, but I still felt a little uneasy on new / different wheels. Looking back it was just something for my mind to grab ahold of and stress about.

The Ironman Hospitality
The rest of the weekend was really governed by the Ironman timeline. We went to the athlete dinner and meeting, we raced, we woke up Monday morning and went to the Ironman store, attended the awards banquet and then left. One thing is for certain, Ironman does fully support the athlete and they do a tremendous job building up the experience to be a one-of-a-kind event. I've always been a little anti-MDot because of the associated attitude. (The one that says your not "xx" if you haven't done Ironman or Kona, etc.) I can see the addiction to these events and I appreciate the place that these events have in triathlon. But I also appreciate the place that events like the Lake Barkley Race has too.

Why Triathlon is different than many sports.
One thing that continues to come up again and again for me is the line between the professional athletes and the age-group athletes. This maybe due to the fact that professional triathletes don't make big money or because they commonly come into the sport from positions that rarely include the limelight, I don't really know. Maybe triathletes are just level headed by nature (although I've seen some very unlevel headed age-groupers....).

After volunteering at the finish line of the Ironman Louisville race and talking to people that were also there, several people mentioned how nice Chris McDonald (the overall winner) was. At Ironman Wisconsin we sat down at the athletes' dinner and Jeff began talking to a kid sitting next to him. While in line, I realized that it might be Zach Ruble a younger professional. Jeff, Eric and Beth ended up talking to him throughout the dinner and I had a brief opportunity to also talk to him after the race. Once again an example of a professional that was generous with his time and not big-headed. How many sports can an average fan/athlete get that close to the professionals?

The Spectators and Volunteers at IMMOO
This is definately the best part of the Ironman race experience in Wisconsin. There were over 3,500 volunteers at the race! It is pretty amazing to have volunteers strip your wetsuit, find your transition bags, unrack your bike, chase you down with bottles of water, etc, etc.

The fan support for this race is also like no other event I've done, outside of the Chicago marathon. A few things that really stood out to me:

- Swim to Bike transition: heading up the helix and into the parking garage was amazing. Spectators stood two or three deep all the way up the helix, which made it hard not to run by-the-way. A very nice pick-me-up after swimming 2.4 miles.

- Verona: Beth and Eric had told me about the people in Verona, but it had to be experienced. Riding through town made me feel like a professional cyclist riding through a small town in France. The street was baracaded off, spectators were lining the street on both side cheering.

- Devil's Hill: If Verona made you feel like a professional cyclist, then this climb definately did. The spectators were line up on both sides again, but this time there were no baracades. It reminded me of some Tour de France climbs when you wonder if fans are going to get out of the way... in this case, out of my way. As we hit that hill, both times the cheering got me a little juiced and I killed the hill. I spun fast and past a lot of riders both times. (And noticed my heart rate in the 170's!)

Final Thought
The experience of doing an Ironman is worth the time, effort and money that it took. I always anticipated I would race Wisconsin in 2008, now I am certain I will be there again. While I was a little too dazed to hear my name called out "Gary Ditsch. You are an Ironman" I was told by several people that they saw it online.

Another amazing thought. People actually cared and were able to see me become an Ironman. The only thing that was able to make the day better, was that Nikki became an Ironman on the same day! The training and the race will be an experience we will be able to share together for a long time.

Ironman Wisconsin - Historical Results and Weather.

After spending time watching Iroman Wisconsin last year and seeing so many people struggle with the cold temperatures, I thought that I'd take a little journey through the historical weather records on race day in Madison.

I also wanted to see how the race may have been impacted by the type of weather they had. The best place that I have found to review race results and the historical results is, www.triresults.com

The TriResults site actually just put up an Ironman Wisconsin Events page that has a great listing of the historical data, including: the results listing, divisional top ten by year and Hawaii qualifiers by year.

Weather Data: taken from wunderground.com

Sept 10, 2006: Mean - 56F, Max - 59F, Min - 53F
Sept 11, 2005: Mean - 80F, Max - 91F, Min - 69F
Sept 12, 2004: Mean - 71F, Max - 85F, Min - 57F
Sept 7, 2003: Mean - 74F, Max - 89F, Min - 59F
Sept 15, 2002: Mean - 59F, Max - 71F, Min - 48F

Results Analysis:

Taking some data from the TriResults site, I wanted to see how the times changed year to year. To make things easy, primarily because the data was already put together, I took the 10th place finishing time (male 25-29) and the last Hawaii Qualifying time for each year.

I realize that those times are not a good snapshot of the field of triathletes racing on those days, not even a good snapshot of the male 25-29 year old age group, because to finish that high you are definately on the long tail of things. But the data was accessible and there may be a day I'll have the desire to search through and find the median number in the age group so that we can see where the exact middle finisher would finish.... maybe later. Here's what I do have:

	2006	2005	2004	2003	2002
10th Place Finisher	10:25	10:50	10:37	10:32	10:21
Last Hawaii Qualifier	10:18	11:10	10:22	10:18	10:20
# of AG Participants	201	186	162	173	184

Final Thoughts:

So are there correlations that we can draw from this data? I think the one thing that becomes obvious is that the 2005 race was an outlier in terms of race performance (among the top 10 and Hawaii Qualifiers). When looking at the weather data, we also see that 2005 was the hottest year the race has been held. In 2005, the average temperature was 80F with a high of 91F. The high's in 2004 and 2003 were both in the 80's (2003 being 89F) but the averages were both down into the lower 70's.

The one fact that I find interesting was that in 2006 the times were not significantly different than the times in 2004, 2003 and 2002. I guess I expected them to be primarily because we saw so many people appearing to struggle with the cold. The best explanation that I have for this is that the results that we are looking at are people that are on the course for 10 to 10.5 hours. If we were able to look at the middle of the pack (mop) and back of the pack (bop) results, we might see something different. My hypothesis is that the weather becomes more of a factor the longer your day is, but it is just a hypothesis.

The last thought that I have is that the weather will impact the way I approach the event, especially if it is going to be a very hot day. But in the end, it is a variable that is out of my control and therefore something I should be prepared for, but should not be anxious about. It appears that most years athletes do a pretty good job of adapting to the conditions.

To view some Ironman Wisconsin 2006 Race Reports that I tagged on del.icio.us go here: Ironman Wisconsin Tags

Einstein, Relativity and Triathlon Training.

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving." - Albert Einstein

I recently began reading the new biography on Einstein written by Walter Isaacson called, Einstein: His Life and Universe. I wanted to read the book to learn some basic facts about the man, but I have also gained some insight into the world of triathlon too. (Of course I had to be looking for it, but hopefully it's entertaining / insightful none-the-less.)

The first theory of relativity that Einstein provided was called "special relativity." (He later came up with his general relativity theory.) The take home idea from special relativity is that if there are two objects, determining who is at rest and who is in motion is relative to the "observer" and is not an absolute. The scenario used to best describe this idea was a man sitting in an armchair versus a women in an airplane flying above. In both scenarios the same laws of physics apply, therefore each person (man and women) could consider themself at rest, while the other is in motion. Neither is right or wrong. (Isaacson, pg 107-108).

In triathlon training and racing, I believe a similar understanding of relativity can be valuable. Follow my thought process for a couple steps:

- When training with a group it can be hard to do the training appropriate for you. We ride too fast to keep up or we want the group atmosphere, so we swim a masters workout that does not address an Ironman triathletes'or an individual's needs.

- When developing a race strategy we make decisions and goals based upon what we would like (hope) to achieve. These decisions are not grounded in the honest assessment of our current fitness levels. (It would be ideal if specific workouts have been completed to assess those fitness levels... check out my last two race simulation posts as my examples: race sim #1, race sim #2). An even more frieghtening scenario is when we start setting race goals based upon our training partners' race goals, keeping in mind their race goals may not be based upon an honest assessment either.

Even worse.... basing them on ideas, reports and race strategies you see posted at online forums or blogs (even mine)!

The relativity link..

The connection between special relativity and triathlon is that there rarely is a right or wrong when it comes to training programs or race strategies, there is only an appropriate program based upon the athlete (the observer).

When we complete workouts and follow our training partners' lead we may be involving ourselves in a scenario that leaves us sitting "at rest" while our partner is reaping the benefits of the workout and maintaining momentum. The program has to be based upon the individual athlete to know for sure that progress is occurring. After all - it's all relative.

Special Ironman Wisconsin 2007 Note:

I wrote this blog entry last week, but last night (8/10/07) found myself in the middle of a conversation that made me understand this idea a little better. A group of us doing Ironman races in September were sitting around eating at a local resturant, naturally the conversation lead to: How much training we were currently doing, How much training we would do 'x' weeks out, etc. I almost began to have an internal anxiety attack, because I came to the "realization" that I wasn't doing enough.

It took a few minutes before I remembered this topic and understood that I was getting caught up in someone else's experience. Their experience was robbing me of my own. I took on the attitude that what they were doing was right and therefore my experience was less-than-positive.

I pulled myself out of that place quickly and thought back to the positives that I personally have had lately. I also realized that if I was doing the training they were talking about (25 hour specific prep weeks) I would be left to heaps of dust come September 9th. Perfect for them, not reasonable for me.

How do we know if we are "at rest" or "in motion."

There are ways that we can set up a program that encourages us to learn about ourselves enough to make those "honest assessments." Here are several that I'll share now:

- Races: A race is not only exciting, but a great testing ground to see if we have improved our fitness. Use shorter races strategically placed to enable yourself to make several observations throughout the year. Alan Couzens wrote a recent piece that includes an analysis of Jack Daniels' Formula and using racing as test. (Use the link and check it out.)

- Fitness Tests / Test Sets: Set up your own fitness test and test regularly. Gordo has talked a lot over the past year about his 3 mile aerobic run test. Some things that I use are:

• --> 3 Mile Aerobic Run w/heart rate
• --> Thursday 6.3 mile group run w/heart rate
• --> 10 x 200 yard main set
• --> 4000 meter time
• --> North Middletown Bike Ride w/out and back, heart rate/time
• --> Valley View Ferry Climb time

- Meditation: I realize this may appear to be non-physical. It may or may not be, but one thing that regularly practicing a mindful state does is open up your awareness so that you can become more aware when you are training. Instead of looking at your training partners' performance for validation of yourself, you maybe more comfortable looking within your own ability. (I do this well in training, not so well in the day-to-day).

Final Question:

Are you "in motion" or "at rest"? Remember, don't confuse movement and progress!

How to pass the "suck threshold" in triathlon.

I read a great post on the Creating Passionate Users blog titled, "How to be an expert." The first line of the post reads,

"The only thing standing between you-as-amateur and you-as-expert is dedication."

At first this quote kind of pushed my thinking in the wrong direction. Why? Because while I consider myself dedicated to triathlon, I don't consider myself an expert. I especially don't consider myself an "expert" athlete. So I got this feeling that they might be (indirectly) suggesting that I wasn't dedicated enough. (We'll look at how much dedication is needed later.)

Before I mention anything more about the article, go and look at the article yourself - at least look at the graph they lead off with. It is really interesting to see the three different paths or choices they offer on their time vs. ability graph. The choices are:

a. "give up" - but if you can get past the frustrastion you may be able to make it past the "suck threshold"

b. "I'm ok, so I'll continue this way" - in which you remain an amateur as time passes on, never passing the "kicking ass threshold"

c. "push myself, because there is always a better way" - you may finally pass the "kicking ass threshold" and become an expert.

There were a few things that stood out to me about those who make the choice to continue working towards being an expert. Those people tend to do these things:

1. They find new ways to get better. There is always some way to get that little edge.

2. They work on their weaknesses, even if it isn't fun.

3. They are willing to pay the cost, whatever that cost might be in order to not suck.

So what does it take to pass the "suck threshold" in triathlon?

This is a very good question that I ask myself on a daily basis. This winter I made the decision to focus on Ironman Wisconsin and move away from a running focus in the spring and triathlon focus in the summer. This decision has meant that I have been swimming a lot more than normal (I am actually swimming) and getting ready to bike a lot until April. So maybe I'm on my way to passing the suck threshold by working on my weaknesses, but what about passing the kicking ass threshold. What do I have to do to get close to moving in that direction?

In Ironman competition there is one accomplishment that can show that you are getting close to the kicking ass threshold - qualifying for the Ironman World Championships in Hawaii. So to find out exactly what this threshold is for Ironman Wisconsin, I went to triresults.com and used the "reports" feature to find this information: (for my age group, male, 25-29)

2006: sub 10:18:19
2005: sub 11:10:09 (the slowest time of any IMMOO year)

This is great information, but one of the characteristics of those that don't suck was dedication. It is hard to extrapolate what amount of dedication someone has by seeing a finishing time. What if all those 25-29 year old males were just really gifted athletes?

A really good look at the amount of dedication a Kona qualifying athlete has was just presented by trigeek76 over on slowtwitch.com by conducting a survey of over 600 triathletes. You can check out the survey at http://www.triathlontrainingsurvey.net/results.html

In the second release of data interpretation he answers the question, "What will it take to get my Kona slot in '07?" You will have to fill out the survey to get all the data, but I'll share a couple things that point out the amount of committment or dedication that might be involved:

1. You need to train more! The average training volume for a 25-29 year old male was approximately 800 annual hours. It was around 840 annual hours across all age groups. (As a comparison, last year I trained 378 hours... yikes!)

2. You need to be consistent! The training was consistent throughout the prior year, even during the off season they would have their volumes at 20-40% of peak volumes. At six months out, their volumes were at 60% (bike) to 80% (swim and run) of peak volume.

A few training ideas came from this data that shows what those-that-don't-suck do for their training. The biggest one is that they have big bike volumes, especially within the 19 weeks leading up to the race. The second variable that correlated to race performance was run volume over the year. Even as these triathletes biked and ran a lot, guess what - they still swam! In other words, if you want to be a good triathlete that passes the suck threshold you need to bike a lot (especially the last 6 months), run a lot and don't forget to swim regularly.

So you want to kick ass! You want to be an expert.

What does it take to get to this level. To be honest, it is so far beyond my reality of my personal athletic experience that it is hard to explain. So what I did was find a few resources that I keep an eye on to help illustrate it for you. Get ready this is going to get ugly!

1. Sergio Marques - Sergio finished 19th at this years World Championships, putting in the fastest run leg of the day. What did it take for him to get there? (Keep in mind this is one year, but...) He recently analyzed his 2006 year compared to his 2005 year. Here are some things to think about:

- He had 803 workouts and put in 1,300:14 hours over the year. (Almost 1,000 more hours than me!)

- Swim: 387:6 (n=291), Bike: 646:23 (n=267), Run: 266:30 (n=245)

2. Zach Ruble - another pro triathlete I looked up after watching his IMMOO performance. You can go and search through his 2006 season starting right after IMAZ and going to IMMOO by reading his blog: Zach's Training Blog and he just started using workoutlog (yeah Zach) and sharing his log.

(Note: I think that Zach and Sergio are now coached by the same coach, which is new for Zach this season I beleive. If I read his blog correctly? They actually are using the same coach as our local pro Dave Kuendig.)

3. Epic camp discussion. One of the better discussions that I've heard discussing what it takes to not suck in triathlon was the recent podcast with Scott Molina and Gordo Byrn - Ironman Talk Podcast #40. Could I survive that kind of training? At this point in my develeopment I don't think I could. What is amazing is that some (if not most this time around) of these guys are age-groupers!

4. What it takes. I have not seen this documentry yet, but if you are not into all the x's and o's that are provided in the links above, maybe you can purchase this video and get motivated to start breaking through that kicking ass threshold.

So what are you going to do?

It looks like you got a few choices to make - give up, do the same ol' same ol' or push through and kick ass by becoming dedicated, working on your weaknesses, be consistent, find a new (better) way and then just pay your dues.

You know two of the coaches mentioned above have little "tag lines" that follow them around: "more is more" and "there is no easy way".... I guess the first one might be right and the second one is just a reality we'll have to face.

Belief in myself during 2007!

Over on the Mideast Multisport Blog we have been talking a little bit about process goals for 2007, so if you haven't read that post yet head on over to the site and take a look.

The one process goal of mine that I put out there for everyone to see was to complete a 30/15". Which means 30 consecutive weeks of training 15+ hours. This seemed like a good idea at first until I looked a little closer at my 2006 logs and realized that I didn't go plus 15 many times last year. It just makes me nervous aboutcommitment early on in the season. Why? Because going plus 15 hours won't be too difficult once I can get outdoors and complete 5 - 6 hour rides on the weekend, but those probably won't be coming until late March or even late April. (I am doing a 200km ride in March so I'll have at least one long ride.)

Today's good start: am run - 40min run with Kelty, afternoon ride - 1:55 ride on trainer while watching the Huskers lose.

Belief in myself - and reading the Jim Vance story last night.

I have to be honest with people right now, over the last 6 months I have been noticing a consistently eroding self confidence in myself. I am not sure why, but it probably has something to do with the expectations I have had for my life and myself. It's hard when you dream big and
feel like you are accomplishing very little.

There are things that I have done that others have said are "accomplishments" but I have felt little sense of positive feelings from, such as getting my masters degree.

I don't want to go on too much about this, but I see 2007 as a great year to find some things out about myself in many ways. Academically, I had applied to the University of Kentucky to finish my degree in dietetics, but I'm not going to take classes because I've found that it would spread me too thin.

Athletically I would like to press myself. This doesn't mean I want to end up over trained all year long - what it does mean is that I would like to see how committed to the goal of racing Ironman I can be?

Stop being afraid! There is always a fear of setting your expectations too high because what if you don't reach them. This year I will have to realize that I am valuable enough to take a chance.

I am not doing a great job of explaining how I feel about this and what I would like to use the 2007 season to find out - so maybe the best way to explain it better is to share another triathlete's story. Go read this: A Touch Decision Pays Off for Vance. I remember Vance being around Lincoln, NE when I was in school atUNL and always wondered if the Jim Vance in Xterra was the same person. I guess he is. Anyway, if you read the story than I would have to say that I feel about like he did when he was driving home from theLos Angeles Triathlon this past September.

There's always that fear that I am not doing what I should be doing. Maybe I should have went to law school, business school or even medical school. Is being a triathlon / running coach "IT". I hope in 2007 I will find a few more hints.